Romeo and Juliet Act II Scene IV
Original
Modern
Notes
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SCENE IV. A Street.
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SCENE IV. A Street.
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[Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.]
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[Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.]
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MERCUTIO. Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?
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MERCUTIO. Where the devil can this Romeo be? Did he not come home last night?
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BENVOLIO. Not to his father’s; I spoke with his man.
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BENVOLIO. Not to his father’s; I spoke with his servant.
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MERCUTIO. Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.
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MERCUTIO. Why, that same pale hard-hearted girl, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will surely go mad.
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BENVOLIO. Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
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BENVOLIO. Tybalt, the kinsman of old Capulet, has sent a letter to his father’s house.
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MERCUTIO. A challenge, on my life.
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MERCUTIO. A challenge, on my life.
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BENVOLIO. Romeo will answer it.
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BENVOLIO. Romeo will answer it.
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MERCUTIO. Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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MERCUTIO. Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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BENVOLIO. Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
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BENVOLIO. No, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being challenged.
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MERCUTIO. Alas poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye; run through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt-shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead—stabbed by a white girl’s black eye; run through the ear with a love song; the very centre of his heart split by the blind bow-boy’s blunt arrow. And is he a man to face Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO. Why, what is Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO. Why, what is Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO. More than Prince of cats. O, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hay.
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MERCUTIO. More than the Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing from written music, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He takes his short rest, one, two, and the third in your chest: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first rank, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the reverse thrust, the hay!
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BENVOLIO. The what?
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BENVOLIO. The what?
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MERCUTIO. The pox of such antic lisping, affecting phantasies; these new tuners of accent. By Jesu, a very good blade, a very tall man, a very good whore. Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon-me’s, who stand so much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O their bones, their bones!
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MERCUTIO. A pox on such grotesque lisping, affected fantasies; these new fashioners of accent. By Jesus, a very good blade, a very brave man, a very good whore. Why, is this not a lamentable thing, old fellow, that we should be so afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon-me” types, who insist so much on the new style that they cannot sit comfortably on the old bench? Oh their bones, their bones!
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[Enter Romeo.]
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[Enter Romeo.]
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BENVOLIO. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
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BENVOLIO. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
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MERCUTIO. Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench,—marry, she had a better love to berhyme her: Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
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MERCUTIO. Without his roe, like a dried herring. Oh flesh, flesh, how you are turned into fish! Now he is ready for the verses that Petrarch poured out. Laura, compared to his lady, was only a kitchen maid—indeed, she had a better lover to rhyme about her: Dido a plain woman; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero worthless women and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not worth mentioning. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French greeting for your French trousers. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
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ROMEO. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
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ROMEO. Good morning to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
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MERCUTIO. The slip sir, the slip; can you not conceive?
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MERCUTIO. The slip, sir, the slip; can you not understand?
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ROMEO. Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
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ROMEO. Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was urgent, and in such a case as mine a man may stretch courtesy.
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MERCUTIO. That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
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MERCUTIO. That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours forces a man to bow in the thighs.
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ROMEO. Meaning, to curtsy.
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ROMEO. Meaning, to curtsy.
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MERCUTIO. Thou hast most kindly hit it.
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MERCUTIO. You have most kindly hit it.
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ROMEO. A most courteous exposition.
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ROMEO. A most courteous explanation.
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MERCUTIO. Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
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MERCUTIO. No, I am the very pink of courtesy.
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ROMEO. Pink for flower.
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ROMEO. Pink for flower.
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MERCUTIO. Right.
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MERCUTIO. Right.
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ROMEO. Why, then is my pump well flowered.
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ROMEO. Why, then is my shoe well flowered.
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MERCUTIO. Sure wit, follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.
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MERCUTIO. Sharp wit, follow me in this jest now, until you have worn out your shoe, so that when its single sole is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.
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ROMEO. O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!
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ROMEO. Oh single-soled jest, solely singular for its singleness!
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MERCUTIO. Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.
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MERCUTIO. Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits are failing.
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ROMEO. Swits and spurs, swits and spurs; or I’ll cry a match.
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ROMEO. Switch and spurs, switch and spurs; or I’ll claim the match.
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MERCUTIO. Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done. For thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits, than I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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MERCUTIO. No, if your wits run the wild-goose chase, I am finished. For you have more of the wild-goose in one of your wits than I am sure I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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ROMEO. Thou wast never with me for anything, when thou wast not there for the goose.
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ROMEO. You were never with me for anything when you were not there for the goose.
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MERCUTIO. I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
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MERCUTIO. I will bite you by the ear for that jest.
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ROMEO. Nay, good goose, bite not.
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ROMEO. No, good goose, do not bite.
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MERCUTIO. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.
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MERCUTIO. Your wit is a very bitter apple; it is a most sharp sauce.
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ROMEO. And is it not then well served in to a sweet goose?
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ROMEO. And is it not then well served with a sweet goose?
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MERCUTIO. O here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad.
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MERCUTIO. Oh, here’s a wit of soft leather, that stretches from an inch narrow to a yard broad.
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ROMEO. I stretch it out for that word broad, which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
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ROMEO. I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which added to the goose proves you far and wide a broad goose.
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MERCUTIO. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature. For this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
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MERCUTIO. Why, is this not better now than groaning for love? Now you are sociable, now you are Romeo; now you are what you are, by art as well as by nature. For this drivelling love is like a great idiot who runs about with his tongue out to hide his toy in a hole.
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BENVOLIO. Stop there, stop there.
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BENVOLIO. Stop there, stop there.
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MERCUTIO. Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
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MERCUTIO. You want me to stop my tale against the grain.
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BENVOLIO. Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
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BENVOLIO. Otherwise you would have made your tale large.
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MERCUTIO. O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to occupy the argument no longer.
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MERCUTIO. Oh, you are deceived; I would have made it short, for I had come to the full depth of my tale, and meant indeed to pursue the subject no longer.
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[Enter Nurse and Peter.]
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[Enter Nurse and Peter.]
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ROMEO. Here’s goodly gear! A sail, a sail!
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ROMEO. Here’s fine stuff! A sail, a sail!
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MERCUTIO. Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
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MERCUTIO. Two, two; a man’s shirt and a woman’s smock.
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NURSE. Peter!
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NURSE. Peter!
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PETER. Anon.
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PETER. Coming.
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NURSE. My fan, Peter.
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NURSE. My fan, Peter.
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MERCUTIO. Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan’s the fairer face.
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MERCUTIO. Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan is the fairer face.
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NURSE. God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
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NURSE. God give you good morning, gentlemen.
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MERCUTIO. God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.
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MERCUTIO. God give you good evening, fair gentlewoman.
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NURSE. Is it good-den?
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NURSE. Is it good evening?
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MERCUTIO. ’Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
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MERCUTIO. It is no less, I tell you; for the bawdy hand of the clock is now upon the prick of noon.
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NURSE. Out upon you! What a man are you?
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NURSE. Out upon you! What kind of man are you?
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ROMEO. One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar.
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ROMEO. One, gentlewoman, that God has made for himself to spoil.
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NURSE. By my troth, it is well said; for himself to mar, quoth a? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?
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NURSE. By my word, it is well said; “for himself to spoil,” says he? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?
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ROMEO. I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
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ROMEO. I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for lack of a worse.
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NURSE. You say well.
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NURSE. You say well.
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MERCUTIO. Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’faith; wisely, wisely.
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MERCUTIO. Yes, is the worst well? Very well taken, in faith; wisely, wisely.
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NURSE. If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
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NURSE. If you are he, sir, I desire some private talk with you.
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BENVOLIO. She will endite him to some supper.
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BENVOLIO. She will invite him to some supper.
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MERCUTIO. A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
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MERCUTIO. A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
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ROMEO. What hast thou found?
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ROMEO. What have you found?
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MERCUTIO. No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent. [Sings.] An old hare hoar, And an old hare hoar, Is very good meat in Lent; But a hare that is hoar Is too much for a score When it hoars ere it be spent. Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner thither.
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MERCUTIO. No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie, that is somewhat stale and grey before it is finished. [Sings.] An old grey hare, And an old grey hare, Is very good meat in Lent; But a hare that is grey Is too much for a score When it goes grey before it is finished. Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll go to dinner there.
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ROMEO. I will follow you.
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ROMEO. I will follow you.
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MERCUTIO. Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady.
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MERCUTIO. Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady.
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[Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio.]
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[Exit Mercutio and Benvolio.]
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NURSE. I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
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NURSE. I pray you, sir, what saucy fellow was this that was so full of his roguery?
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ROMEO. A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
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ROMEO. A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand by in a month.
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NURSE. And a speak anything against me, I’ll take him down, and a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates.—And thou must stand by too and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!
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NURSE. And if he speaks anything against me, I’ll take him down, even if he were stronger than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those who shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his loose women; I am none of his cut-throat companions.—And you must stand by too and let every knave treat me as he pleases!
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PETER. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out. I warrant you, I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
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PETER. I saw no man treat you as he pleased; if I had, my weapon would quickly have been out. I assure you, I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
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NURSE. Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave. Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her in a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say; for the gentlewoman is young. And therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
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NURSE. Now, before God, I am so vexed that every part of me quivers. Scurvy knave. Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bade me seek you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell you, if you should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it would be a very base kind of behaviour, as they say; for the gentlewoman is young. And therefore, if you should deal falsely with her, truly it would be a bad thing to offer any gentlewoman, and very poor dealing.
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ROMEO. Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee,—
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ROMEO. Nurse, give my regards to your lady and mistress. I protest to you—
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NURSE. Good heart, and i’faith I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
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NURSE. Good heart, and in faith I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
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ROMEO. What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
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ROMEO. What will you tell her, Nurse? You are not listening to me.
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NURSE. I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
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NURSE. I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
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ROMEO. Bid her devise Some means to come to shrift this afternoon, And there she shall at Friar Lawrence’ cell Be shriv’d and married. Here is for thy pains.
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ROMEO. Tell her to devise some means to come to confession this afternoon, and there at Friar Lawrence’s cell she shall be confessed and married. Here is for your trouble.
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NURSE. No truly, sir; not a penny.
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NURSE. No truly, sir; not a penny.
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ROMEO. Go to; I say you shall.
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ROMEO. Go on; I say you shall.
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NURSE. This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.
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NURSE. This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.
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ROMEO. And stay, good Nurse, behind the abbey wall. Within this hour my man shall be with thee, And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair, Which to the high topgallant of my joy Must be my convoy in the secret night. Farewell, be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains; Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
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ROMEO. And wait, good Nurse, behind the abbey wall. Within this hour my man shall be with you, and bring you cords made like a rope ladder, which to the high peak of my joy must be my conveyance in the secret night. Farewell, be trustworthy, and I will reward your trouble; farewell; give my regards to your mistress.
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NURSE. Now God in heaven bless thee. Hark you, sir.
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NURSE. Now God in heaven bless you. Listen, sir.
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ROMEO. What say’st thou, my dear Nurse?
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ROMEO. What do you say, my dear Nurse?
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NURSE. Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say, Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
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NURSE. Is your man discreet? Did you never hear it said, Two may keep a secret if one is put away?
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ROMEO. I warrant thee my man’s as true as steel.
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ROMEO. I assure you my man is as true as steel.
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NURSE. Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, Lord! When ’twas a little prating thing,—O, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man, but I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
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NURSE. Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, Lord! When she was a little chattering thing—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would gladly board her; but she, good soul, would as soon see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the handsomer man, but I assure you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any cloth in the whole world. Do not rosemary and Romeo both begin with a letter?
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ROMEO. Ay, Nurse; what of that? Both with an R.
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ROMEO. Yes, Nurse; what of that? Both with an R.
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NURSE. Ah, mocker! That’s the dog’s name. R is for the—no, I know it begins with some other letter, and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
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NURSE. Ah, mocker! That’s the dog’s name. R is for the—no, I know it begins with some other letter, and she has the prettiest saying about it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
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ROMEO. Commend me to thy lady.
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ROMEO. Give my regards to your lady.
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NURSE. Ay, a thousand times. Peter!
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NURSE. Yes, a thousand times. Peter!
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[Exit Romeo.]
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[Exit Romeo.]
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PETER. Anon.
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PETER. Coming.
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NURSE. Before and apace.
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NURSE. Go ahead, and quickly.
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[Exeunt.]
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[They exit.]
Fencing · Term
Passado – A forward thrust or lunge in fencing.
Fencing · Term
Punto reverso – A backhanded thrust (from the Italian “punto riverso”).
Fencing · Term
Hay – A fencing term (from Italian “hai,” meaning “you have it”), a thrust that hits home.